When a couple seeks to build a home together, they build it one brick at a time. This is true both physically, and spiritually. What are the spiritual “bricks” we use?
We can liken their thoughts towards one another and the words they speak to each other as bricks that are used in the building of that home. Only you can determine what type of bricks you have been using in the building of your own home. With the quality of bricks many couples are using, no wonder their homes collapse.
When it comes to building a physical house, we are very careful to use tested quality bricks as we want a long-lasting structure. But physical homes are not eternal. They will be destroyed one day. The real house we should focus on is the relationship with our spouse that we build for all eternity. Beware then about the thoughts and words in your relationship. Let them be thoughts and words of purity and goodness towards each other.
Hebrews 12:15 warns against a root of bitterness. This can form in our heart towards our spouse. The Bible also commands husbands in Colossians 3:19 not to be bitter towards their wives. Thoughts and attitudes of the heart such as bitterness must be put to death. In our thought-life, there should be the mark of blood – a cross on which we die. I need to put to death unloving thoughts, selfish thoughts, and thoughts that cause division. Do not ever forget that the devil is always close by, placing his rocks and bricks into your hands in the hopes that you will use them to build your house. Those of us who are married know the temptations that come to have hard, selfish, bitter, suspicious thoughts towards our partner. The devil brings bricks of selfishness to make us build our house only thinking of our own interests. He brings bricks of suspicion towards your partner. Die to suspicion and learn to trust. Suspicious thoughts are the worst bricks that the devil brings.
Likewise, the words we speak are also bricks with which we build our home. If all the words uttered by married people were taped and played (which will indeed happen on the day of judgement), I wonder how many of us would enjoy listening to them. Or would we run away to hide? How wonderful it would be for some couples who have spoken kind and loving words to each other. They would have confidence even for the whole world to listen to their conversations on judgment day.
We are not perfect, but we can learn to humble ourselves, speak good words, and put the bad words that the devil puts on our tongues to death. Think of all the rotten words that husbands and wives speak to each other (‘Your father was like that’ or ‘Your sister was like that’ and so on). It is sad that so many build their homes with such bricks. But in the midst of such a pathetic standard, we need to build a home that glorifies God, according to the pattern that God has given us in His word.
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no rotten word proceed from your mouth.” Rotten words are equivalent to rotten bricks. If we, as husbands and wives, follow this one simple rule: only speak words to our partner that will minister grace — then in one year, we will have a better home than all the rotten homes people have spent years building. That certainly is a possibility for each of us. There will be temptations that come to slander someone else in your home. But that is only a temptation. If someone visits your home, and you start gossiping, you are building your home with rotten bricks. The devil has handed over rotten bricks to you, and you have readily received them. Do not let him do that to your home. There is no doubt — if you determine to follow God's pattern seriously, you will have a heavenly home.
In Deuteronomy 33:16, God is referred to as “Him who dwelt in the bush”. That is referring to Exodus 3 where God spoke with Moses from the burning bush. This is the first dwelling place of God mentioned in the Bible. Can you imagine any germs or bacteria surviving in that bush while it was on fire? The fire would have destroyed every germ and bacteria. We need that fire – the fire of the Holy Spirit – in our homes to kill all the germs and bacteria. What germs and bacteria am I referring to? The ungodly thoughts that we have towards one another, the unkind, rotten words that we speak, the unnecessary gossip, etc. When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, when the fire of the Holy Ghost is on our homes, we will have a sterilised home. It does not matter if our home is not physically tidy, but our words and thoughts must be clean.
This is the difference between what God cares about and what man cares about. Pharisees are clean outside, but disciples of Jesus keep the inside clean. Their thoughts and words are upright so that God can dwell in their homes. If we seek for this, our homes will be like the Old Testament tabernacle where the glory of God descended. It would be wonderful if we had many such homes. God who dwells in the bush will also dwell in a home in which He can be glorified.
